I’m reposting a blog from 2008… from my old blog…
I got on a crowded bus one morning. There was one seat left between two people spilling over from their own seats. As I sat down in between them my shoulder were forced to scrunch in front of me pushing my chest to sink back just so that I could fit in. All of a sudden I felt insecure, shy, and somewhat on the defence. I was intrigued by the experience because, from what I could tell, there was no reason for me to feel this way. In fact, what was happening, was that my brain was reacting to a conditioning in my body in which previous experiences of being insecure and shy resulted in my shoulders coming forward. This is a common defensive posture in animals where they cover their heart and their bodies draw inward in attempt to protect themselves. This is very common in humans as well, as you may have noticed either when people seem to shrink with insecurity hiding away their heart (or true self) – look for it, if you can’t relate. In addition to this natural response (i.e., unconditioned response), our bodies can become conditioned to stimuli by pairing a natural response with a non-natural stimulus – remember Pavlov’s dog? Same thing. Using the bus example, my body was placed in a posture that had previously been associated with the negative feelings of insecurity. My brain then assumed I was experiencing insecurity or rather labeled my experience as “insecure”, causing me to feel insecure. Instead of salivating like Pavlov’s dog did to the bell, I became insecure feeling my body shrinking. Interesting? Indeed, there is a lot to learn by paying attention to our body.
What’s interesting about this phenomenon is that it can be used to facilitate a new feeling, for example, security and confidence. If we feel insecure when our body is in the “insecure posture” imagine what might happen should be find our body in the opposite position.
In yoga, I often guide students into chest and heart openers by inviting them to draw their shoulders back and clasp their hands behind them. These can be very powerful postures in which we feel a sense of freedom – essentially because, metaphorically, we are exposing our heart (and true self) to the world. Even if we do not feel the sense of freedom immediately, over time, our body starts to adjust and become more open. We begin to feel free, secure, and open with our true self. This process demonstrates the connectivity between the mind and body. We know this connection to be true according to the ancient teachings of yoga or Buddhism and also more recently in psychology (e.g., conditioning).
Alternative Confidence Building Tip (if all else has failed) from a Life Coach:
If you are seeking a little bit of confidence building, try heart/chest openers in yoga. Stay in the posture for 5 minutes, if you can and then slowly build up to longer durations. Do this daily for 2 weeks and see how you feel. If available, you can also try imagining a sense of freedom to be you as you rest in the posture. Also, imagine yourself as confident while you walk around. Your body will start to change and then your mind and thoughts will follow.